sometimes...

...i really hate straight people.

had SW over last night, he was in town and needed a place to sleep. part of me wanted to scream IN MY BED IS JUST FINE but the sensible part of me let him sleep on the couch. we drank some beer and wine and made poor dietary choices, and talked about medical stuff and sex. i hate that he is so fucking good looking, and can hook up with whmoever, whenever. as i mentioned before, he knows about me and guys and whatnot, so we delved into that a little deeper. he told me a story that blew my mind. he slept in a bed with this guy that i've met once (and TOTALLY had the hots for) and he woke up in the middle of the night to the guy jerking him off and making out with him. i about died on the spot. not one but TWO of the hottest guys i know were in that story. and then he ruined it by saying he pretended he was asleep and rolled over on his stomach. they both pretended nothing ever happened the next day, and still haven't talked about it.

i almost choked him. what a waste of uberhotness. i would have done the same, though. (as the other guy, not SW.) i refrained last night (i hate myself) because he mentioned he's seeing this girl now... God i hate my life sometimes.

on a side note, the guy (FT) who was jerking him off is straight/bi-curious. i am for sure hitting that next time i see him, come hell or high water.

i am working on #7 right now, #8 is only in town every few weeks, and our schedules never work out. i am also curious about one of the guys in my class, and still debating doing anything with him. probably not a good idea. but he is rumored to be 100% gay, and he's really cute.

my buddy just called and said to come out. no way jose. tired, exhausted really, and have too much school to do... (then what am i doing here?) i am making better grades, thankfully, finished 2 classes so far, one with a B, the other with a B+. working my way on up to an A for the class i have a final in on monday. i feel bad for this one kid in our class, he has failed BOTH of the classes we've finished so far. remediation is going to be a BITCH for him. (either that, or if he fails out of all of our classes he'll be back for year 2 round 2 next year.)

and also, straight people stuff: 3 girls have commented on how much weight i've lost, how good i look, etc. THIS WEEK alone, including the girl who turned me down last year. the one actually said "you look good in those jeans..." they were my 32 jeans, first pair since somewhere around junior year of undergrad.

i feel great from those comments; i still feel like i have a ways to go when i look in the mirror.

5K in the AM, getting some shut-eye.