Thursday, July 22, 2010
missed connection post
I posted this on CL today for the heck of it. I think it turned out quite nicely.
This isn't so much a missed connection as it is a 'probably never will have the connection'. There are two fine young men who work under the same roof, and I would like to lament the fact that neither of them appear to play on this side of the street.
The first is the broad-jawed, scruffy-faced, v-neck wearing, apron and engineer-hat sporting, hairy-chested, thick-armed "Employee of the Apocalypse" who works at the Easy Chair. Lawd-A-Mercy this man grinds my beans. What I wouldn't give to put my lips on that java-scented neck of his and whisper sweet nothings in his ear that would make his heart beat so fast you would think he was high on espresso. I can't even go in the store when he's working. I just catch fleeting glimpses as I pass by the window. I'm too afraid to go in there and order something made by those meaty, coffee-stained hands. I might say something wrong... like "Hello, I'd like to order an [urk] Gawd you're hawt..."
Mr. Easy Chair Barista, Not-So-Easy To Get But Oh-So-Easy On My Eyes: you had me at "Whirrrrr, Blend, Grind, Pour." I'd love to have a taste of you, if you're offering samples.
The second piece of magnificence under said roof is the dirty blond, crew-cut, chiseled body, piercing eyed, demi-god wonder that works behind the desk at the gym. This beauty of a man broke my heart when he locked those full lips with a blond bearing distinctly female anatomy. I'm sure, like most men at the gym, he appreciates the awe-struck gaze of lesser mortals, particularly the beta male, but he has never stooped low enough to engage a fellow man in sporting, romping, bedroom calisthenics. I have had to catch my self several times while running on the treadmill when this Apollo breezes by and nearly knocks me off my feet, breathless.
Mr. Gym Front Desk Employee, you astound me with your flawless perfection and glances of sheer dominance. If you happen to notice a lesser man stumbling on the treadmill or dropping surprisingly light weights while staring at your physique, chances are you have found me. Do both of us a favor and just keep walking... I hate to see you go, but oh, how I love to watch you leave.
This isn't so much a missed connection as it is a 'probably never will have the connection'. There are two fine young men who work under the same roof, and I would like to lament the fact that neither of them appear to play on this side of the street.
The first is the broad-jawed, scruffy-faced, v-neck wearing, apron and engineer-hat sporting, hairy-chested, thick-armed "Employee of the Apocalypse" who works at the Easy Chair. Lawd-A-Mercy this man grinds my beans. What I wouldn't give to put my lips on that java-scented neck of his and whisper sweet nothings in his ear that would make his heart beat so fast you would think he was high on espresso. I can't even go in the store when he's working. I just catch fleeting glimpses as I pass by the window. I'm too afraid to go in there and order something made by those meaty, coffee-stained hands. I might say something wrong... like "Hello, I'd like to order an [urk] Gawd you're hawt..."
Mr. Easy Chair Barista, Not-So-Easy To Get But Oh-So-Easy On My Eyes: you had me at "Whirrrrr, Blend, Grind, Pour." I'd love to have a taste of you, if you're offering samples.
The second piece of magnificence under said roof is the dirty blond, crew-cut, chiseled body, piercing eyed, demi-god wonder that works behind the desk at the gym. This beauty of a man broke my heart when he locked those full lips with a blond bearing distinctly female anatomy. I'm sure, like most men at the gym, he appreciates the awe-struck gaze of lesser mortals, particularly the beta male, but he has never stooped low enough to engage a fellow man in sporting, romping, bedroom calisthenics. I have had to catch my self several times while running on the treadmill when this Apollo breezes by and nearly knocks me off my feet, breathless.
Mr. Gym Front Desk Employee, you astound me with your flawless perfection and glances of sheer dominance. If you happen to notice a lesser man stumbling on the treadmill or dropping surprisingly light weights while staring at your physique, chances are you have found me. Do both of us a favor and just keep walking... I hate to see you go, but oh, how I love to watch you leave.
post i've been working on since May
in lieu of the longer post i'm working on, here's my angst-y post for today.
why do we, as humans, pursue the thing that is worst for us? why do we run from the things that are simple, pat answers? we desire complexity and drama and tumult. it doesn't make sense. the kinder virtues are frowned upon, and the ability to lie, deceive, and get ahead in life by any means possible is lauded. i am frustrated by this turn-everything-on-its-head approach to life.
of course, i'm guilty of it too. i go after the guys who are impossible (the ones who really can't stand me, the ones i creep out, the ones who are straight, the ones who make it clear they're ignoring me or are not interested in me) and shun the ones who adore me (DD, Jay, the stalker FF). i even do it to girls. there are several (large) females who would love to date/marry me. i won't have it. not for a second. i can take my boys large; i need some meat on a girl, but not the fat. i say that i want to be in love, i want a relationship, i want someone nice and sweet and kind; i have found that no, i don't. i want sex. i want someone who needs me for little more than my body. i don't want them sweet or nice, either, at least not all the time. i want things to get dirty, nasty, kinky. i want someone who will kiss me, sure. but i also want someone to pull my hair, spit in my face, call me all kinds of ugly names and use words like "fuck" "whore" "slut" "bitch", and can take it when i do the same back to them. nothing turns me on more than someone who can go from zero to fuck in nothing flat.
through my relationship with jay, i discovered a lot about myself. i value things that i didn't think i did, or that i thought i shouldn't. i liked him because he was sweet, and kind, and romantic, and funny, yes. but i also liked him because he was good looking, and had a decent cock, and, in the beginning, a desire to pump my ass multiple times a week. once that was gone, though, i had little interest in him.
for some reason, DD is now appealing to me. sure, he's not that attractive, but he's got a thick cock and a filthy mind. i sent him a photo text of my ass the day after i broke up with jay (that's in the long post) and said "guess who's single?" he immediately called and wanted to know when i was coming down so he could "fuck your mouth, rape your ass, and coat the back of your throat with my cum." i, of course, jerked off on the phone while he was talking to me (like i have every time he's called for the past 3 years). i don't actually know when i'm going to see him, but i hope it's soon.
a part of me feels terrible writing these things, but it's honesty. do i still value true friendships, loving people, kindness? sure. i couldn't make it without JW and PB (although i honestly would love to sex both of them up). i want friends, yes. i want to date again, yes. but i also want some guys to just get down and dirty with. is that too much to ask?
why do we, as humans, pursue the thing that is worst for us? why do we run from the things that are simple, pat answers? we desire complexity and drama and tumult. it doesn't make sense. the kinder virtues are frowned upon, and the ability to lie, deceive, and get ahead in life by any means possible is lauded. i am frustrated by this turn-everything-on-its-head approach to life.
of course, i'm guilty of it too. i go after the guys who are impossible (the ones who really can't stand me, the ones i creep out, the ones who are straight, the ones who make it clear they're ignoring me or are not interested in me) and shun the ones who adore me (DD, Jay, the stalker FF). i even do it to girls. there are several (large) females who would love to date/marry me. i won't have it. not for a second. i can take my boys large; i need some meat on a girl, but not the fat. i say that i want to be in love, i want a relationship, i want someone nice and sweet and kind; i have found that no, i don't. i want sex. i want someone who needs me for little more than my body. i don't want them sweet or nice, either, at least not all the time. i want things to get dirty, nasty, kinky. i want someone who will kiss me, sure. but i also want someone to pull my hair, spit in my face, call me all kinds of ugly names and use words like "fuck" "whore" "slut" "bitch", and can take it when i do the same back to them. nothing turns me on more than someone who can go from zero to fuck in nothing flat.
through my relationship with jay, i discovered a lot about myself. i value things that i didn't think i did, or that i thought i shouldn't. i liked him because he was sweet, and kind, and romantic, and funny, yes. but i also liked him because he was good looking, and had a decent cock, and, in the beginning, a desire to pump my ass multiple times a week. once that was gone, though, i had little interest in him.
for some reason, DD is now appealing to me. sure, he's not that attractive, but he's got a thick cock and a filthy mind. i sent him a photo text of my ass the day after i broke up with jay (that's in the long post) and said "guess who's single?" he immediately called and wanted to know when i was coming down so he could "fuck your mouth, rape your ass, and coat the back of your throat with my cum." i, of course, jerked off on the phone while he was talking to me (like i have every time he's called for the past 3 years). i don't actually know when i'm going to see him, but i hope it's soon.
a part of me feels terrible writing these things, but it's honesty. do i still value true friendships, loving people, kindness? sure. i couldn't make it without JW and PB (although i honestly would love to sex both of them up). i want friends, yes. i want to date again, yes. but i also want some guys to just get down and dirty with. is that too much to ask?
posted by another gay blogger
Gay /Bi Indicator List
Sensitive x
Artistic Boy x
Sentimental/Romantic x
Good Dancer x (sometimes)
Witty x
Restless
Outsider
Perfectionist
Not Athletic x
Dreamer x
Intellectual x
Self-Conscious x
Straight Indicator List
Tough
Fix-it guy
Straight forward x
Good Drinker x (usually!)
Clownish
Energetic x
Center of Attention x
Carefree x
Jock
Realist
Physical x
Self-Confident x
Sensitive x
Artistic Boy x
Sentimental/Romantic x
Good Dancer x (sometimes)
Witty x
Restless
Outsider
Perfectionist
Not Athletic x
Dreamer x
Intellectual x
Self-Conscious x
Straight Indicator List
Tough
Fix-it guy
Straight forward x
Good Drinker x (usually!)
Clownish
Energetic x
Center of Attention x
Carefree x
Jock
Realist
Physical x
Self-Confident x
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