Playing Catch Up

Apologies for the sheer length of the last post... A bit tedious I'm sure.

JustThatGuy: Our friend posted today, so I'm expecting an entry from you in the coming hours, lol. I enjoyed reading your take on the sermon, and the paper. The next week's sermon was pretty much useless to me, although good, and then I skipped last week and the podcast isn't up, so I'm not sure how they finished things off. I have to say I really relate to the first pastor in his experience. While I don't think that homosexuality or heterosexuality is primarily a product of upbringing, I do have to agree there is a pretty solid pattern with homosexual men and their experiences growing up with a doting mother and an absent or abusive father. Does that mean that a young man with that experience with turn out gay? Nope. I have two dear, sweet friends who had horrible father figures and a rough upbringing, and they are straight as the day is long. (Although some people have QUESTIONED their sexuality, they are practicing heteros.)

I'm going to try to keep this short, and blog a little each day for the next few days. (Yeah right.) I have a lot to catch up on up.

Remember that all-male pageant I won last year? They had it this month, and I handed over the crown to a good friend of mine. Cute story behind that... He won the talent portion with a love/Valentine's Day song he wrote for this girl he's had a crush on for these 2 years we've been in medical school. Instant standing ovation. Anyway, my big African girl dancing buddy came up to me afterward and said, "What's different about you? You seem so calm, so at peace and settled in yourself." I pulled a picture of me and Jay out of my wallet. "This" I said "is what's different." It's amazing the difference that both of us have seen in the past few months that we've been 'together'. He knows he's different, and tells me so. As for me, it's odd being the level-headed one, the objective one who weighs things out and discourages typical promiscuous gay behavior. I like the change.

Over a week ago, I slipped and hit my head pretty hard on the ice. (I was running in the parking lot to get to school at 8 pm... Retarded, I know.) It was one of the weirdest sensations I've ever had, as the impact sent some kind of impulse down my spinal cord and into every nerve in my body. It was painful and fascinating at the same time, as I suddenly could feel and visualize my entire nervous system in tactile 3D. The body truly is an amazing machine. Anyway, I told Jay this, once the pain set in, and he almost had a breakdown. After a few seconds, he was quiet, and then he said, "I can't take this. I need to be there. I can't stand being this far away." He really wants one of us to move closer to the other. It's killing me, because my medical education is going to keep me in this area for a few more years, and his income in no way is going to allow him to make any kind of move in the near future. I think if I told him I couldn't move there he'd start planning on a date to move here. I'm not ready for that, I don't think. Maybe I am.

The day after, I was having a rough time--in pain, tired, and just kind of bummed. I passed JW as he went up the stairs to the second floor, and I said, "How are you doing?" He looked down at me from a set of stair up, and said, "Not great, actually, I could use a hug." I motioned him down the stairs and gave him a bear hug. It was nice, good for the both of us. I don't get hugs like I used to, I don't see people that much, and when I do, they're not usually the huggy type. I like having JW around, he's a good friend.

Ok, I'm tired, will explain why in the next few posts. For now, that will have to do.