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i have had no caffeine today. this is the highest level you can 'achieve' on this meter... not very accurate, i'd say. or i produce my own caffeine.
Monday, April 13, 2009
just for fun
this is me on life...
Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating
i have had no caffeine today. this is the highest level you can 'achieve' on this meter... not very accurate, i'd say. or i produce my own caffeine.
Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating
i have had no caffeine today. this is the highest level you can 'achieve' on this meter... not very accurate, i'd say. or i produce my own caffeine.
Monday, March 30, 2009
sex surrogates and hepatitis colonoscopies
-wow, i have no time these days... but i'm boycotting study today. academic suicide, maybe, but i failed the last two of these things i studied for, so what the hell...
-first up: odd news. as if it weren't bad enough to have a piece of medical equipment rammed up your ass, you now can get a life-threatening illness as well! seems that these poor people could do just as well with a good old-fashioned ass-raping in a dark alley. sheesh. way to go, modern health care!
-next: what looks to be a promising site for sappy lovebirds like me, and what looks to be something for the tender-hearted, mother-theresa types. (eg, me.)
-BSG post coming soon... saw the finale. o_O there will be spoilers. you have been warned.
-so i saw this article and got to thinking... there are a LOT of guys out there who sometimes want nothing more than a good skin session with another guy... no sex, nothing too risque, just a little guy-on-guy lovin'. i'd like to volunteer myself for the position... where's the sign-up line? i guess i'll have to start it. think about it, though. it's really therapeutic, it won't destroy a guy's sense of masculinity, and it's just a great way to have a safe cuddle/make-out/back rub/spooning/nap session without worrying about everything that you normally worry about. heck, i'd even take a guy on a date and treat him like a king.
i think what i'm describing is an escort... although sex is usually involved in that... really, i guess i'm just making up a job for myself. snuggle surrogate. cuddle therapist. whatever. we'll see if i work up the guts to do it. i know i probably have a man-on-man skin session this weekend... going back to the alma mater, have a guy waiting for my lovin' touch. couldn't be more excited.
-i'm still crazy about this boy, and it feels better every day. i can't say enough about being his friend and lover, and him being mine. long distance? yeah it's tough, but it's still so much fun. baby, when you read this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S-BEz0f_fI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUwwXaECTIc
my apologies for the taylor swift. love you.
-i have a few ideas brewing for writing... not that i have time, really. i forgot one idea, unfortunately, and have been desperately searching my brain for fragments of it. it's not entirely gone, i think. i hate when i do that...
-everyone's political these days. i hate that. especially country singers. maybe not political; "patriotic." they're only that way, though, because patriotic is the new black. remember the dixie chicks? remember when they said what everyone else ended up saying? it wasn't in vogue, though, for popular artists to say it. toby keith can suck it. and "chicken fried" was just fine before the verse about our military defending the little things we love. is it true? maybe. but it's a country song, not a song about war.
in case you were wondering, i'm not for the war. i'm not for ANY war. i don't care why you're killing people, you're still killing people. you can't hit the undo key on that after the war is over and say, "ok, we won that round, now go back to your life." really, why ARE we DYING over there? what are we dying for? (and by "we" i mean US citizens with no stake or claim "over there.") if we're defending our country, there's enough people here to round up and shoot, and i'm not just talking about politicians and terrorists. we're killing ourselves off fast enough, thanks, no need for outside terrorists.
and because i mentioned them:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GovJ4jAnr14
one of the best country songs ever.
-because of the unique moves my family made in my younger years, i really have no distinct accent. (i should, based on where i was born, have a very stong north-east accent.) so i have this idea in my head that everyone talks like me--"normal" with no accent--and their accent is just something they do to fit in with a certain crowd. hicks especially make me think this. there are few similarities between english and the gibberish they speak. i feel certain if i went up and politely asked one of them to please stop with the crazy talk, they'd settle down and start talking like me, the normal, not-crazy person.
i'm such a hegemonist.
-first up: odd news. as if it weren't bad enough to have a piece of medical equipment rammed up your ass, you now can get a life-threatening illness as well! seems that these poor people could do just as well with a good old-fashioned ass-raping in a dark alley. sheesh. way to go, modern health care!
-next: what looks to be a promising site for sappy lovebirds like me, and what looks to be something for the tender-hearted, mother-theresa types. (eg, me.)
-BSG post coming soon... saw the finale. o_O there will be spoilers. you have been warned.
-so i saw this article and got to thinking... there are a LOT of guys out there who sometimes want nothing more than a good skin session with another guy... no sex, nothing too risque, just a little guy-on-guy lovin'. i'd like to volunteer myself for the position... where's the sign-up line? i guess i'll have to start it. think about it, though. it's really therapeutic, it won't destroy a guy's sense of masculinity, and it's just a great way to have a safe cuddle/make-out/back rub/spooning/nap session without worrying about everything that you normally worry about. heck, i'd even take a guy on a date and treat him like a king.
i think what i'm describing is an escort... although sex is usually involved in that... really, i guess i'm just making up a job for myself. snuggle surrogate. cuddle therapist. whatever. we'll see if i work up the guts to do it. i know i probably have a man-on-man skin session this weekend... going back to the alma mater, have a guy waiting for my lovin' touch. couldn't be more excited.
-i'm still crazy about this boy, and it feels better every day. i can't say enough about being his friend and lover, and him being mine. long distance? yeah it's tough, but it's still so much fun. baby, when you read this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S-BEz0f_fI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUwwXaECTIc
my apologies for the taylor swift. love you.
-i have a few ideas brewing for writing... not that i have time, really. i forgot one idea, unfortunately, and have been desperately searching my brain for fragments of it. it's not entirely gone, i think. i hate when i do that...
-everyone's political these days. i hate that. especially country singers. maybe not political; "patriotic." they're only that way, though, because patriotic is the new black. remember the dixie chicks? remember when they said what everyone else ended up saying? it wasn't in vogue, though, for popular artists to say it. toby keith can suck it. and "chicken fried" was just fine before the verse about our military defending the little things we love. is it true? maybe. but it's a country song, not a song about war.
in case you were wondering, i'm not for the war. i'm not for ANY war. i don't care why you're killing people, you're still killing people. you can't hit the undo key on that after the war is over and say, "ok, we won that round, now go back to your life." really, why ARE we DYING over there? what are we dying for? (and by "we" i mean US citizens with no stake or claim "over there.") if we're defending our country, there's enough people here to round up and shoot, and i'm not just talking about politicians and terrorists. we're killing ourselves off fast enough, thanks, no need for outside terrorists.
and because i mentioned them:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GovJ4jAnr14
one of the best country songs ever.
-because of the unique moves my family made in my younger years, i really have no distinct accent. (i should, based on where i was born, have a very stong north-east accent.) so i have this idea in my head that everyone talks like me--"normal" with no accent--and their accent is just something they do to fit in with a certain crowd. hicks especially make me think this. there are few similarities between english and the gibberish they speak. i feel certain if i went up and politely asked one of them to please stop with the crazy talk, they'd settle down and start talking like me, the normal, not-crazy person.
i'm such a hegemonist.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
another BSG post
ok, so i have little time to watch TV or post blogs. i tried to catch up with BSG last nite, only to find that not all of the episodes are posted online. there's been 9 episodes; i saw #1, then 2-4 weren't up anymore, and 5-8 were, and 9 isn't up yet.
can i just say TOLD YOU on calling the 13th cylon? his name was daniel, which is significant to me for reasons we won't go into... the new theory everyone is jumping on is he was starbuck's father. this is because ellen describes him as "artistic" and then we see kara playing piano with "slick," an imaginary character who ends up being a manifestation of her father. the song they play is bear mccreary's "all along the watchtower" theme that initially triggered the final 4 (pre-ellen). the fact that she knows it, the final 5 know it, sam played it thousands of years ago on earth, and the dying 8 knew it in sick bay leads me to think that daniel/mr. thrace could easily have known it. my theory is that kara is actually a human/cylon hybrid, and hera is not the "first." however, if the "re-imagined" series stays true in any way to the original series, starbuck is going to die on friday anyway, making hera just as important. kara resurrected because ellen's rez technology is somewhere still on earth, and i'm sure a big secret is hybrid kids can rez, but i don't know. also, we see that sam can function like a ship-hybrid, so anything is possible. (i realize now that i mis-called something; there were only 5 who returned to Caprica from Earth, not 12 or 13.)
in re: to the episodes i missed: i know what happened, and that was... sad. almost pointless, really, but it killed off two central characters. big step forward. left sam in his condition, which opened the door for those visions of the past and future. (side note: killed off one of the two male characters portrayed as at least bi--hoshi is still around, i think i saw him in the last few episodes, i need to see the old episodes to know if they showed his reaction to the execution.)
i hope RDM has enough sense to pepper the final 2-hour episode with a steady mix of action, death, and mysticism. angels, resurrections, and especially starbuck and gaius baltar need to be explained. "this is not all we are" and "all this has happened before, and it all will happen again" need to be demonstrated, and leoben needs to make a final showing.
i want to make a dead list, not really enough time to do that, but there's a good number of characters that have died that were important to the show that could end up showing up in the last episode, and there's also a lot of live characters who could end up dead in the last episode.
most likely to show up again:
billy
bulldog
dualla
gaeta
zarek
zak (highly unlikely)
kat
most likely to bite it:
galactica
bill adama
roslin
starbuck (aka "the harbinger of death")
boomer
caprica 6
cavil
simon
doral (is his model still alive?)
most likely to make it:
most cylon models (at least a few 6's, 8's, the final 5, etc.)
hera
apollo
frak, is there anyone else?
gaius, gods damn it, you know he's going to make it, always does. (which means caprica 6 might make it too, especially with the whole "dying leader shall know the truth of the opera house" bit)
joe the bartender
one of the saddest things to me is that not all of the cylon models make it. i'm the kind of guy who likes complete sets. cavil, leoben, d'anna, simon, doral, natalie, daniel, sharon, tory, saul, galen, sam, and ellen... they just belong together. daniel is gone, for good it seems, the last 3/d'anna stayed on earth to die, and doral has been MIA forever. (leoben has also been missing since "sometimes a great notion.") i feel like they all should be alive at the end to intermarry with the humans and start something new. it's probably not going to happen though.
i have very few predictions for next week. (edit: just saw doral on the preview for next week. he's still there.) the preview was unhelpful, at best. people shoot at each other. galactica take heavy damage. sam yells. roslin looks like she's in a straight jacket. kara shoot the hell out of stuff. apollo has a space suit on, and then he doesn't and he needs a haircut. not a whole lot of cylons shown, but it's 2 hours, anything can happen.
fiery end? peace? destruction of all but a few? finding of a habitable earth? i vote for fiery end, but that's just me. i'd hate to see some of the characters go, but at the same time, i'd like to see some real drama take place.
and i don't know when i'll see it, because i'll be out, i think, when it's airing.
balls.
can i just say TOLD YOU on calling the 13th cylon? his name was daniel, which is significant to me for reasons we won't go into... the new theory everyone is jumping on is he was starbuck's father. this is because ellen describes him as "artistic" and then we see kara playing piano with "slick," an imaginary character who ends up being a manifestation of her father. the song they play is bear mccreary's "all along the watchtower" theme that initially triggered the final 4 (pre-ellen). the fact that she knows it, the final 5 know it, sam played it thousands of years ago on earth, and the dying 8 knew it in sick bay leads me to think that daniel/mr. thrace could easily have known it. my theory is that kara is actually a human/cylon hybrid, and hera is not the "first." however, if the "re-imagined" series stays true in any way to the original series, starbuck is going to die on friday anyway, making hera just as important. kara resurrected because ellen's rez technology is somewhere still on earth, and i'm sure a big secret is hybrid kids can rez, but i don't know. also, we see that sam can function like a ship-hybrid, so anything is possible. (i realize now that i mis-called something; there were only 5 who returned to Caprica from Earth, not 12 or 13.)
in re: to the episodes i missed: i know what happened, and that was... sad. almost pointless, really, but it killed off two central characters. big step forward. left sam in his condition, which opened the door for those visions of the past and future. (side note: killed off one of the two male characters portrayed as at least bi--hoshi is still around, i think i saw him in the last few episodes, i need to see the old episodes to know if they showed his reaction to the execution.)
i hope RDM has enough sense to pepper the final 2-hour episode with a steady mix of action, death, and mysticism. angels, resurrections, and especially starbuck and gaius baltar need to be explained. "this is not all we are" and "all this has happened before, and it all will happen again" need to be demonstrated, and leoben needs to make a final showing.
i want to make a dead list, not really enough time to do that, but there's a good number of characters that have died that were important to the show that could end up showing up in the last episode, and there's also a lot of live characters who could end up dead in the last episode.
most likely to show up again:
billy
bulldog
dualla
gaeta
zarek
zak (highly unlikely)
kat
most likely to bite it:
galactica
bill adama
roslin
starbuck (aka "the harbinger of death")
boomer
caprica 6
cavil
simon
doral (is his model still alive?)
most likely to make it:
most cylon models (at least a few 6's, 8's, the final 5, etc.)
hera
apollo
frak, is there anyone else?
gaius, gods damn it, you know he's going to make it, always does. (which means caprica 6 might make it too, especially with the whole "dying leader shall know the truth of the opera house" bit)
joe the bartender
one of the saddest things to me is that not all of the cylon models make it. i'm the kind of guy who likes complete sets. cavil, leoben, d'anna, simon, doral, natalie, daniel, sharon, tory, saul, galen, sam, and ellen... they just belong together. daniel is gone, for good it seems, the last 3/d'anna stayed on earth to die, and doral has been MIA forever. (leoben has also been missing since "sometimes a great notion.") i feel like they all should be alive at the end to intermarry with the humans and start something new. it's probably not going to happen though.
i have very few predictions for next week. (edit: just saw doral on the preview for next week. he's still there.) the preview was unhelpful, at best. people shoot at each other. galactica take heavy damage. sam yells. roslin looks like she's in a straight jacket. kara shoot the hell out of stuff. apollo has a space suit on, and then he doesn't and he needs a haircut. not a whole lot of cylons shown, but it's 2 hours, anything can happen.
fiery end? peace? destruction of all but a few? finding of a habitable earth? i vote for fiery end, but that's just me. i'd hate to see some of the characters go, but at the same time, i'd like to see some real drama take place.
and i don't know when i'll see it, because i'll be out, i think, when it's airing.
balls.
Monday, March 9, 2009
OMG WTF
ok, i've always thought of myself as a nice person. like REALLY nice. but i found this on Brett Cajun's blogspot eons back and thought, meh, why not. i'll bite. holy guacamole. i'm not safe for you kids.
in retrospect, i have been exchanging x-rated material, both in visual and textual form, thru the e-mail for a few months now... i'm not as kiddie friendly as i used to be... at least, not to grown ups.
(just so you know, bretty boy, your blog is now rated pg-13. i guess it only checks the front page or something... you've become tame in your old age. obviously it's not looking back at posts such "look motha fucka" or "just call me prision bitch" etc.)
maybe i should scale back the raunch, at least in my non-public communication...
in retrospect, i have been exchanging x-rated material, both in visual and textual form, thru the e-mail for a few months now... i'm not as kiddie friendly as i used to be... at least, not to grown ups.
(just so you know, bretty boy, your blog is now rated pg-13. i guess it only checks the front page or something... you've become tame in your old age. obviously it's not looking back at posts such "look motha fucka" or "just call me prision bitch" etc.)
maybe i should scale back the raunch, at least in my non-public communication...
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Sunday, March 8, 2009
my prop 8 rant
ok, so this is more of a broader rant than just about prop 8. prop 8 is, of course, the issue at hand these days as far as [californian] legislation goes. take a step back with me, though, and let's look at the bigger picture. why would ANYONE be against gay marriage? gays aren't, obviously. it really shouldn't affect straight people either. this is similar to an argument i had with my mentor a few months ago: does a person's attitude toward, stance or beliefs on an issue change that issue? no. just because gays wanted to be married doesn't mean that a straight marriage is now a lesser thing. it's still MARRIAGE. they are in a gay marriage; you are in a straight marriage. the fact that they are married does not change the fact that YOU are married, and it does not change your beliefs about marriage.
i personally believe that religous folks should be for gay marriage. after all, there's already domestic partnerships. those folks are an inch away from marriage. there's the stereotypical hedonistic, promiscuous gay lifestyle that marriage may end for some couples. religious folks should be happy about that. besides, the divorce rate for straight folks is so high it's hard to take them seriously when it comes to marriage. (rumor has it divorce rates are higher within the church than without... just sayin'.)
one of the arguments raised by those in favor of Prop 8 is that it 'protects our children.' are we really that concerned, Cali? do you actually know what is going on in your kids' lives? kids are having sex at unbelievably young ages, experimenting with drugs and alcohol at the same time, maybe even sooner, and getting involved in all kinds of great stuff that you probably wouldn't approve of either. whether they are taught that gays have the right to marry or not, they still are going to make their mate choice on their own when they're ready. as it stands, Cali teaches that man-woman pairings are "marriage" and man-man/woman-woman pairings are not. yet there's san fran, the gayest city in the world. if anything, teaching that gay marriage is OK might help kids come to grips with others'--or their own--sexuality, and discourage abuse of gays in the school. (abuse of gays in the rest of the world is another story.) 
whether you believe homosexuality is a good lifestyle or not, you have to concede that it's there, and there to stay. i seriously thought we could socially evolve beyond this years ago; seems not. there is an ideal world, where people aren't hated or mistreated for their race, gender, or orientation. it's not this world.
this was not a coherent post, i apologize. i just needed to get it off my chest. thanks.
*photos property of http://www.bouska.net/. they're not mine. is that enough to keep me out of legal hot water?
Saturday, March 7, 2009
heat wave
this week, we had a snow day. i didn't romp much in the snow, not a cold weather person. i threw some snowballs, though, hit my running teacher toward the end of a 4 mile run, and she chased me down, made me sprint for a good 100 yards... or something, i'm terrible with distances. i wrote my teddy bear a message in the snow, sent it to him. it was fun.
and then TODAY... i couldn't drive without the windows down. glorious weather. hot, actually. so weird. and here i am, stuck studying for a test i really don't want to take... well, that's pretty much all of them.
i was enchanted last night. went to the monthly thing for kids with special needs, and the girl that can hardly see or walk sang again. she looks odd to most people, with her eyes that stare at anything but you, her thick fingers that suddenly come to a point, and spastic gait. but she thinks smoothly, and has a crystal clear voice. she sang us an italian aria, and it was unbelievable. i almost cried. she's only 15, looks 11, and has the voice of an angel. she says she taught herself.
this year has been a huge learning experience for me so far. i'm learning what i like, what i want, and what i don't. i'm learning how to be me in new relationships, and trying not to be annoying in most of them. i'm definitely overbearing, smothering at times. it's the "flipside" of my good characteristics. i'm learning also how passionate i am, and how beautiful the world really is... even though i already knew the latter. the girl last night, the little boy last week, the snow and the sun this week, and, of course, my teddy bear have all shown me little glimpses of how amazing things are in my life and how i need to enjoy them more. i do enjoy my life, really, but i always need to reminder.
more interesting stuff soon... after exams, maybe.
and then TODAY... i couldn't drive without the windows down. glorious weather. hot, actually. so weird. and here i am, stuck studying for a test i really don't want to take... well, that's pretty much all of them.
i was enchanted last night. went to the monthly thing for kids with special needs, and the girl that can hardly see or walk sang again. she looks odd to most people, with her eyes that stare at anything but you, her thick fingers that suddenly come to a point, and spastic gait. but she thinks smoothly, and has a crystal clear voice. she sang us an italian aria, and it was unbelievable. i almost cried. she's only 15, looks 11, and has the voice of an angel. she says she taught herself.
this year has been a huge learning experience for me so far. i'm learning what i like, what i want, and what i don't. i'm learning how to be me in new relationships, and trying not to be annoying in most of them. i'm definitely overbearing, smothering at times. it's the "flipside" of my good characteristics. i'm learning also how passionate i am, and how beautiful the world really is... even though i already knew the latter. the girl last night, the little boy last week, the snow and the sun this week, and, of course, my teddy bear have all shown me little glimpses of how amazing things are in my life and how i need to enjoy them more. i do enjoy my life, really, but i always need to reminder.
more interesting stuff soon... after exams, maybe.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
tuesday's child
it was a deep day.
the snow had melted a bit yesterday, and then completely refroze last night while the town slept. because (idiot that i am) i did not clean off my car, i spent over a half hour scraping the snow (read: ice) from it this morning. i didn't mind--a neighbor lady walked by, smiled at me, and said, "good morning!" i had shyly glanced away when i first saw her, but looked back when i realized she hadn't turned away. "good morning," i awkwardly returned. i know none of my neighbors. not a single one. she was the first interaction i've had since moving here in november. felt good. felt new.
my buddy called me today. i sent him a gift--ordered it for him, really, had it sent to him. he didn't know. he was very thankful, he loved it. i haven't done something nice for someone like that for while. felt good. felt familiar.
a married student brought her husband and two little boys to the cook-off tonight at school. at one point, the younger, red-headed one came running across the ambulatory with a cry of "Mooooommmeeeeee!!!!" and wrapped his little arms around her knees. i instantly had a lump in my throat, and had to look away. my paternal instinct kicked in--hard. i want a child so badly. i want to be a father. i want to fall in love with someone, a girl, and create a little life of our own. it's one of the biggest things keeping me bi-curious or whatever stupid label you want to slap on me. that, and i kinda like girls. seeing that little boy so excited to see his mom--whom he had seen not 5 minutes before--made me feel such a strong longing in my chest. felt good. felt heart-wrenching.
i danced my heart out on a popular dance game tonight. i danced beside a good-looking second year student on the same song a few times before the real gaming started. we connected on a certain level. i was better than he was on that song, but he ended up beating me when it mattered... and everyone else, for that matter. but it was fun, dancing with a good looking older guy, laughing about it, making fools of ourselves and not caring. felt good. felt free.
my replacement in the old house was around today. i rarely see him. he's quiet, withdrawn, but very friendly. gentle. attractive, in a way. not hot by most standards. but i was worked up from dancing, across the room from him, and started doing some stupid dance moves in his direction, moving my hips and shaking my arms. to my surprise, he grinned--he has great teeth--and danced back at me. i was instantly attracted to him 10x more than i had been 2 seconds before. he could move! and how! his hips and thighs were smooth in their movements, playful. i couldn't believe it. quiet boy is a dancer! we did it again later, and he loved it. we talked about going dancing sometime--there isn't many places to go around here. maybe it will never happen. but it was fun doing that with him, made me see him in a whole new light. felt good. felt flirtatious.
it was a good day. we also had 7 classes. 7 hours of class in one day=14-21 hours of study outside of school. awesome. i didn't need a life, really.
in re: to any eyebrows being raised over my gushy words of prose and anything i say about the man i love: shove it. i express myself in really, really emotional language. it's who i am. i'm overly nice sometimes, but it's how i function. someday i'll post about personalities and stuff like that. but for now, understand that's me, that's how i do, and i know some people think it's overkill. i just don't give a damn.
the snow had melted a bit yesterday, and then completely refroze last night while the town slept. because (idiot that i am) i did not clean off my car, i spent over a half hour scraping the snow (read: ice) from it this morning. i didn't mind--a neighbor lady walked by, smiled at me, and said, "good morning!" i had shyly glanced away when i first saw her, but looked back when i realized she hadn't turned away. "good morning," i awkwardly returned. i know none of my neighbors. not a single one. she was the first interaction i've had since moving here in november. felt good. felt new.
my buddy called me today. i sent him a gift--ordered it for him, really, had it sent to him. he didn't know. he was very thankful, he loved it. i haven't done something nice for someone like that for while. felt good. felt familiar.
a married student brought her husband and two little boys to the cook-off tonight at school. at one point, the younger, red-headed one came running across the ambulatory with a cry of "Mooooommmeeeeee!!!!" and wrapped his little arms around her knees. i instantly had a lump in my throat, and had to look away. my paternal instinct kicked in--hard. i want a child so badly. i want to be a father. i want to fall in love with someone, a girl, and create a little life of our own. it's one of the biggest things keeping me bi-curious or whatever stupid label you want to slap on me. that, and i kinda like girls. seeing that little boy so excited to see his mom--whom he had seen not 5 minutes before--made me feel such a strong longing in my chest. felt good. felt heart-wrenching.
i danced my heart out on a popular dance game tonight. i danced beside a good-looking second year student on the same song a few times before the real gaming started. we connected on a certain level. i was better than he was on that song, but he ended up beating me when it mattered... and everyone else, for that matter. but it was fun, dancing with a good looking older guy, laughing about it, making fools of ourselves and not caring. felt good. felt free.
my replacement in the old house was around today. i rarely see him. he's quiet, withdrawn, but very friendly. gentle. attractive, in a way. not hot by most standards. but i was worked up from dancing, across the room from him, and started doing some stupid dance moves in his direction, moving my hips and shaking my arms. to my surprise, he grinned--he has great teeth--and danced back at me. i was instantly attracted to him 10x more than i had been 2 seconds before. he could move! and how! his hips and thighs were smooth in their movements, playful. i couldn't believe it. quiet boy is a dancer! we did it again later, and he loved it. we talked about going dancing sometime--there isn't many places to go around here. maybe it will never happen. but it was fun doing that with him, made me see him in a whole new light. felt good. felt flirtatious.
it was a good day. we also had 7 classes. 7 hours of class in one day=14-21 hours of study outside of school. awesome. i didn't need a life, really.
in re: to any eyebrows being raised over my gushy words of prose and anything i say about the man i love: shove it. i express myself in really, really emotional language. it's who i am. i'm overly nice sometimes, but it's how i function. someday i'll post about personalities and stuff like that. but for now, understand that's me, that's how i do, and i know some people think it's overkill. i just don't give a damn.
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