shortcuts

since i have 4 drafts of posts to publish, and none of which i actually want to, i'll shorthand it:

-jay and i broke up. it was my choice, and it was on good terms. not easy, but good.

-we still talk. i'm not sure how i feel about it. i am doing the best i can.

-i'm supposed to go see him in june. uneasy about it.

-made my move on PB. got turned down. that is a story that needs to be told, maybe tonight. i am still madly in love with him.

-made my move on the DJ. got turned down.

-had sex with one of the guys i didn't have sex with last year. nothing too exciting, just a good hook-up. will do it again.

-making new friends and being pulled into new social circles. loving it. got a new "gay papa" in the third year class. glad to replace KF!

-still meeting the trainer 2x a week. still having a hard time getting under 14% body fat. still don't care. still bulking up a little each week. still haven't run since the trip to the east coast (another post that needs to be caught up on).

-moving in with PB sometime between NOW and june. so freaking excited, i can't even begin to express it.

-JW and PB and HH have all been over in the past few weeks playing Halo with me. i love those three boys so much. JW was pretty excited to hear i broke up with Jay. he told me he did not like him from day 1. i took comfort in that. anyway, it's just nice to have 3 handsome, very close friends like that right now.

-been having a lot of thoughts about myself lately (i know, entirely too egocentric) and how i have shifted my emphasis from finding someone to love, to finding a good lay. i realize now that it's because i really hadn't experienced either before, but if could find BOTH in the same person, i think i'd be set.

-i also have been thinking of how i want things i can't have or that aren't good for me more fiercely than the things i don't have to fight for or that are right there in front of me. this is particularly true and frustrating in the field of who i like as far as guys go. this thought alone deserves its own post.

that's all i feel like writing for now. hopefully i'll have some good news and happiness to post next time. in the meantime, enjoy the first summer song of 2010, Katy Perry's newest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTVJTt-Gfx8

Two more weeks of school!!!!